I used to feel like I am too young to feel this hurt and broken. Other than feeling young, nothing has changed much. I am still hurt, broken, jaded and much more shit. I thought everyone around me kept waiting for me to show a weakness so they could end me. I still feel these insecurities.
What do we live for? For the chance of everything getting better somehow? My life feels like it's stuck on an endless cycle. I often find myself staring into the sea of endless options to end it all. Do I have the strength to end it all? Do I have the courage to dive into that sea? Do I have the decisiveness to choose one way and stick to it?
These questions keep my eyes open all night. I sleep during the day. I sleep when the sun shines and people get up. Cause I don't have the energy to function. I don't have the energy to embrace the opportunities day may bring. Cause I know, I know that it will all take me back to my disappointment.
